Tom Harlan's Stuff! Scram you damned kids!

Halloween 2000

	"Then I drove him mad, plaguing him with voices, storms, every evil omen... he should have sold me the shoes at half off!"
	"If you observe the dangerous doctor M, immediately leave the area and inform the authorities. Do not attempt to apprehend the mysterious doctor M. He is considered nosed and dangerous." ~ Interpol alert circular X2304
	"Remember, Isabelle, with great power comes great responsibility." "But grandfather, I want to destroy the world!"
	"Captain... I feel... gothness and murky darkness, filled with loud, bass-heavy music... and leather, I feel a lot of leather." "What are you saying, Hippychile?" "Captain, this is the planet Nosferatu! (gasp! choke!)
	"Hephaestus, this pumpkin has angered the gods! It must be sacrificed to restore the natural order!" ~ Zeus (while Cybele and Atargatis look on)
	"Woo... dudes... those are some righteous vibrations spinning out of the heart of the universe... reaching out to each and every one of us... God is love, man, God is love. Peace."
	UN scientists examine conclusive proof of the existence of the Jagarundi. Despite severe doubts expressed by Dr. Stefan Ashe (Scripps Institute), Dr. Robert Lee Ervin (Mime School de Paris) is convinced the "Jag" is real. (please ignore the strange skin condition)
	The Jagarundi in question.
	(AP - Istanbul) General Mustapha Kemal, following a bitter dispute with the Imperial General Staff over the conduct of the campaign in the Levant, is assigned to a the backwater posting, counting seals on the beach.
	(AP - Istanbul) General Mustapha Kemal waits in the main train station, before traveling to his new post on the beach at Gelibolu. When questioned, Kemal growled that "nothing ever happens at Gelibolu. It's not even a very nice beach."
	The end of another long, long day at Disneyland. A contract worker walking to employee parking in one of the underground garages.
	"No, I don't think we're exploited by the Mouse. We're Wild Things, you know, and usually we just run around in the woods, kidnapping little children. This way we get benefits, and paid vacation."
	"I love... Disneyland. I really, really do. (sob) I hope I can get that job at Bloomingdales..."
	During half-time at the Siege of Troy, the Olympians catch a breather. Troy is up 43-28, and things do not look good for the Acheans. With sixty-five seconds to go in the final quarter, the Achean sub quarterback Odikwios will throw a 96 yard hail mary for the victory.
	"Oh, you bet. Troy has a lock on this one... home field advantage, a great running back in Hector, a canny qb in King Priam. They can't lose. Too bad they have to put up with that punk Paris... he gets on my nerves."
	"Awww! Not the Wooden Horse play! WE WERE ROBBED! The officials are blind, BLIND!"
	"Le chat noir, es magnifique!"
	(AP - Thrace) Recent attempts by the Ottoman authorities to clean up the local woods of sprites, nymphs and carefree spirits of all kinds have, obviously, failed. Imperial authorities promise to commit new resources to limiting the number of fauns, satyrs and dryads cavorting in the public parks.
	(AP - Thrace) A notorious local Wicca girl (name withheld) continues to flaunt Imperial authority. Governor Kemal, still smarting from his demotion, promises swift action in quelling the hijinks and laughter lately reported from the woods near the Gelibolu shore.
	(AP - Thrace) Local sprite, having escaped from Wicca camp, reports that some "cute Australian boys" would soon be arriving to join recent celebrations over the fall of Troy. Russell Crowe and Mel Gibson were rumored to have "gotten bus tickets. They'll be here any day."